How deep or shallow is your relationship with this person?
ASSIGNMENT 3
Depth and Breadth of Relationships
Use the questions below as a guide to write a short paragraph about one of your relationships.
1. How deep or shallow is your relationship with this person?
2. Does the depth vary from one area (breadth) to another? In what way?
3. Are you satisfied with the depth and breadth of this relationship? Why or why not?
4. If you are not satisfied, what could you do to change the relationship? What would you predict the results would be?
ASSIGNMENT 4
Alternatives to Disclosure
Write a response for each disclosure or alternative listed and evaluate the effectiveness and ethics of your responses.
Example
Your friend asks you if you had a good time when you went out on a date with his cousin last night.
Self-disclosure: I didn’t have a great time, but then we were just getting to know each other. I don’t think that we had much in common.
Silence: If I don’t answer or don’t say anything, my friend might think it was worse than I do.
Lying: Your cousin was a lot of fun and the movie was great.
Equivocating: First dates are really times of discovery, aren’t they?
Hinting: I don’t think I have to have a great time every night.
Which response is most effective? Which is most ethical? I think equivocating is effective.
While I wasn’t exactly self-disclosing with my friend, I just don’t want to tell him how boring I think his
cousin is. I haven’t lied and both of them can save face, too.
Situation 1:
You are applying to rent an apartment that prohibits animals. You have a cat.
Number of questions presented in this activity: 5 questions.
Question 1: (Required)
Self-Disclosure
Question 2: (Required)
Silence
Question 3: (Required)
Equivocating
Question 4: (Required)
Hinting
Question 5: (Required)
Which responses are most effective? Which are most ethical?
Narrator: Ramon has been working in an entry level sales job for almost a year after graduating
from the university. He likes the company, but is growing more and more frustrated at its lack of
advancement. After much thought, he decided to share his concerns with his boss Julie.
>> Ramon: Hi.
>> Julie: Hi.
>> Ramon: Do you have a few minutes to talk?
>> Julie: Sure, no problem.
>> Ramon: Do you mind if we close the door?
>> Julie: Sure.
[ Door Closing ]
[ Silence ]
>> Ramon: I’d like to talk to you about the future.
>> Julie: The future?
>> Ramon: Well, it’s been over a year since I started to work here. One of the things you told me
during our interview was that people moved up fast here.
>> Julie: Well…
>> Ramon: I’m confused because I’ve been doing pretty much the same work since I was hired.
>> Julie: Well, we do think a lot of your work.
>> Ramon: Well I’m glad to hear that, but I’m starting to wonder how much of a chance I have to
grow with this company.
>> Julie: Well I can understand that you’re anxious to take on more responsibilities. I can tell you
that you have a good chance of advancing if you just hang in there a little while.
>> Ramon: That sounds good, but I’ve been waiting, a lot longer than I expected to. I’m starting
to wonder if some of the things I’ve heard around here are true.
>> Julie: What kinds of things are you talking about Ramon?
>> Ramon: Well Bill and Leticia were telling me about some people who resigned because they
did not get the promotion that they were promised.
>> Julie: Ramon, I’m sure you understand that I can’t discuss personnel decisions about former
employees. I can tell you that we try to give people all the challenges and rewards that they
deserve. Sometimes it takes a while.
>> Ramon: A year seems like more than a while. I’m starting to think that this company is more
interested in having a Hispanic name on their payroll than giving me a real shot at a promotion.
>> Julie: Look, I probably shouldn’t tell you this but I am just as frustrated as you are that its
taking so long to get a promotion arranged for you. I can tell you that there will be some
personnel changes in about 6 weeks and that should give you a chance to move up.
>> Ramon: That’s really good to hear. I have to tell you I have started thinking about other jobs,
not because I want to leave here; it’s just because I can’t afford to stand still. I really need to start
making more money. I don’t want to be one of those losers who can’t afford to buy his home
when he’s 40.
>> Julie: Well I’m still renting. It’s not that bad.
>> Ramon: Well I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.
>> Julie: Well I’m glad you let me know your concerns and I hope you can hang in there just a
little longer.
>> Ramon: Sure. 6 weeks, huh? I’ll be checking the calendar. Thanks.