i just need help for editing a letter

the following is my memo of finding of informtional intervew. it needs some editing.

On November 10th, I went to my informational interview with Soumiya E. Deghidy, FinancialManager in Bank of America located at 5707 seminary rd. falls church VA. Since myappointment with her was at 9:30 am, I thought it would be good idea to be there 15 to 20minutes in advance so that I can be ready for interviewing her. At 9:30 am, she stepped out ofher office and shacked hands with me.We got to her office.I know that Ms. Deghidy is sobusy, so I wanted to get the best out of the 15 minutes’ appointment with her. There I told herthat I tried to find information about her over the internet, but no luck.She smiled and said Iknow, that’s purposely done. Then I asked my first question, can you tell me about youracademic background? She said that she has a bachelor degree in business management fromKnig Mohammed the Fifth in Morocco. She also said that she had taken couple of classes her inthe united states. I then asked her about skills or personal characteristic that contributed mostto her success?Ms. Deghidy immediately said it is my eagerness to learn. she said in this kindof career, you have to learn new things everyday. Also another personal characteristic is being agood team player. She said “I likes working in group to achieve big goals, and I am a goalwinner.” On the other hand, what kind of people experience the greatest success in her field,Ms. Deghidy said that since it is retail profit job, people who are well organized experience thegreatest success here. An individual who want to be successful here, has to have goals that theywant to accomplish all the time. Then I asked Ms. Deghidy about what is the most importantthing that someone planning to inter this career should know? She said that in here theyshould first know its all about performance. Everyone in this place is evaluated based on thereperformance. They also better know that there is no excuses for not to performing. My lastquestion was what is a typical day like? Ms. Deghidy said busy. See our clients! they except agood service and its our job to meet their expectations. The first thing in the morning, we setour goal, then we would perform to reach our goal during work hours, and before closing wealways ask ourselves, did we achieve our goal?

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Dear student,

You are off to a great start on this Memo of Findings. I can tell that you have really taken to heart the information we have learned in class about doing interviews. It sounds like you had a great informational interview!

As you move forward, please consider the following:

* Put your memo in proper memo format. The top should read as such:

To: Professor ——-

From: ————–

Subject: Informational Interview Findings

Please also divide your memo into smaller paragraphs, and separate those paragraphs into sections. Consider giving an Introduction section, where you lay out who you interviewed and when. Then do a Findings section, where you give her responses to your interview questions. Then, give a Conclusion section, where you talk briefly (one paragraph) about what you learned from the interview.

Please let me know on Friday if you have any questions. I would be happy to go over this with you in class.

Again, great questions and great responses. I can tell this was a very successful interview.

Best,